i, meta knowing coward
by The pen in the hands of god
Summary: i popped it down my throat,swallowing all of the gum..fuck me..
1. dressrosa - 1x

_Disclaimer: i do not own one piece. that's obvious right? Eiichiro Oda does._

 _but here i am,this was inspired by silver Queen's dreaming of sunshine and This bites(you should see those as the stories are amazing) any who let's dive into this shit storm._

 _"When stormy weather comes around_

 _It was made in heaven_

 _When sunny skies break through behind the clouds_

 _I wish it could last forever, yeah_

 _Wish it could last forever, forever_

 _Made in heaven."_

 _~Made In Heaven_

 _Song by Queen_

Scrutinizing the text on my phone i glanced around a bit jumpy.

wasn't it just oftly suspicious that i'd happen to get this message after school on a Friday? no not(kinda was? )really i should have very much expected it -

with the copious amounts of fanfiction,manga, and other things i rummage around.

i let out a exasperated breath(this just wasn't my week huh?) "D-do i at least get to pack my things,t-this is kinda bullshit. i've seen my share of how it works but this isn't funny this is just unfair." i said lowly with a hint of fear to no one in particular.

 _".. i could let you take that phone with you and your hoodie,maybe give you a devil fruit but that'd be it little Joseph."_ 'she' said

the voice spoke all of a sudden making me yelp in uneasiness. 'but how did she know my name?

'ah never mind thats one perk of being all powerful..'

 _"anyway you know the drill,of course you do that's how these things work. so bye."_ wait what?

it took immense strength not to roll my eyes or bitch - do something around a being that without effort could wipe me from the face of well..existence.

but not actually wanting to get trolled or be sent the worse ways i went along with it.

i mean what could i honestly do in the face of something with that much power?

yeah not very much if you look at it.

this was cliché or whatever you wanna call it. i'd seen worse but still it irked me when someone was flat out that lazy.

 _"hey i'm not that bad. you could have been sent to some fuck up story like naruto and been a jinchuuriki. one with the least help Joseph."_

that..was true being in naruto would hurt more than being in one piece.

" _plus i mean come on. every nerd that loves one piece would jump at the chance."_

..all i had to do was find the straw hats,or some job till everything was handled for me.

worse case scenario,i get killed or horribly maimed in some other ways.

..a regular person would have politely declined and went on with their regular lives. but this.. she knows i won't pass this up. " _i know right_?"

"i guess,you can hear that. why respond to it?"

R.O.B groaned and looked at me with a face that said _'are you shitting me right now?'_

" _Again Joseph.. im ROB i can do whatever i want even make beerus murder mario."_ odd,but that was true ROB's were all powerful so much that they could bend the rules of well - everything so hearing people think would be baby steps.

" _like i said,bye i already have a response for everything you would say and question me. we'll skip the whole buddy-buddy routine or whatever you say it was back then."_

she seemed to pop her knuckles, getting back to the point her black eyes looking at me.

"if I'm gonna be dragged into a World with mostly water, let's get it over with." this was actually happening? A ROB was going to slap me into one piece? did this ROB want me to suffer? or did i just get really lucky,would i end up like others? how would they fuck me over? body hopping someone,age related bulshit?

" _just age regression. nothing special but I wouldn't want you too comfortable with your own skin_."

after signing some papers, looking over release forms, and all of that complexity that really made me think I should have backed out before hand it was too late. she had a grin that sent cold shivers down my back. "i- I'm going to regret this aren't i?" i asked already knowing the answer to my predicament _"yeah you will, I'm ROB its my job."_ her face was that of someone who was trolling little children, very confused ones.

(in my case)

" _Joseeph oh Joseph. I'm better than that! you would know by now right?"_

"if you are..can i have the 'D'? that would be nice ROB,all important people to the story have them so.." i awkwardly shuffled in my spot.

" _i mean i don't know why, you're getting greedy but that's not my problem_." she waved it off with a sigh.

i grew excited I knew no one was going to stop me before I became very overpowered or probably messed up the timeline. i began to have idea's.

" _i have rules. one of them says no shattering reality. no plot rushing or extra shit i have to clean up."_

"okay,i understand that"

"also none of what you said mattered as again i already know your choices." oh

"oh come on cheer up at least I didn't turn you into a zombie, or shove you in with no fruit!,you even have the mystical heritage bulshit - don't worry you're all set - I'm going to even put you in your Peak." she supplied back.

"Okay thats fine..anything else we need to check off before we kick into this?"

" no not really you signed pretty much all you needed." she fished out some gum and i already knew where this was heading and so.

i popped it down my throat,swallowing all of the gum..fuck me..


	2. dressrosa -2

_.Disclaimer: i do not own one piece. that's obvious right? Eiichiro Oda does._

 _but here i am,with chapter two and full of napping._

sometime later i had woke up and was now seeing - this crap.

My eyes and myself flinched off as Doflamingo's(or at least i think it was..?) armament fist pummeled into Luffy's face making him spiral backwards and hit into the floor rapidly before stopping onto the hard ground,luffy groaned something before Doflamingo turned to vaguely speak to king riku

and all of a sudden i was grabbed with the others thrown outwards by the force that was pica.

king riku's voice rang out as i fell outside the outer walls of the tower; but soon my whole being trembled as Doflamingo began to get what was known as _'the bird cage'_ and let it spread outwards: trapping everyone on the island, i looked up seeing the palace move somewhere, i moved to go after but was stopped when a voice blasted out.

"people of dressrosa, and our obviously esteeming _visitors_..i myself want you to know.. I've never had any objections, to control you all by fear and now that you know the truth i'm sure there are many of you who desire to kill me and thus, i have prepared a _'game'_ in which my goal is death..!! i am here in the Palace so no i won't run, and i will not be concealed" Doflamingo then went on.

"If you can take my life naturally,this will all be over..also there is a second way this could end! if you take the live of all the people i am going to name i'll pay a mind-blowing bounty for all of their heads, kill or be killed...

everyone in this country is a bounty hunter, the best way to save yourself is to take the lives of others!!!"

"no one will come to save you and no one can escape this _'bird cage'_! walking with the outside world is nigh impossible, unbeknownst to the World At Large, you could die here alone - your partners would continue to hurt all around them..without guilt and distinction".

everything was in chaos.

"be it their own blood..or their most trusted friends!!!"

i could feel his sinister smile growing.

"Or even the people have sworn to protect of that should be protected!!" chaos began to run amok the entire island of dressrosa faster than I could even speak but still he continued.. " no one can run or hide, this island is no longer a sanctuary for those with in this cage!! the The Birdcage is Terror will continue for weeks if it should be it's really only the question of what comes first isn't it?! the death is all on this placement or meeting my conditions I've just set for all of you

luffy turned to meet my eyes and all i could do was nod my own head as if to say _'yes i know...'_ but i started to ignore Doflamingo's oppressive drawl and focus.

law and everyone else were focused on the man and i.. needed something to make myself useful so,i rummaged untidily through until luffy's voice made me turn my head at him.

"OI!,who are you?" he questioned getting my addiction and with that everyone turned to me.

"Me? uh..my names Joseph D. eGan" i supplied back "and no i am not here to hurt anyone..I doubt I really could even if I tried..." and my response was just a simple "Okay" but then, Doflamingo started to rat the straw hats,myself,and others out - giving an image of us all and i was surprised to see that I had two stars and not zero..

but then he said 500 million beli for 'God' usopp i actually started to feel for the guy more than I should.

line brake*

 _ **MEANWHILE** :_*ROBS POV*

 _I wiped a tear from my eye as Joseph realized he was unnecessarily far within the timeline, failing really bad to hide his emotions in front of everyone God it was awkward(hahaha!),_

 _i should really be stopping this i'd get in trouble by my boss..buuuttt naah... he can handle it;_

 _sitting on my recliner I leaned back a contented sigh escaping my lips this was worth all of that Dimension hopping..._

 _*DING* "ooohh my pizza's here!" i warped in front of the door pocketing several dollars out of my wallet( it was really a pocket Dimension but you can call it whatever you want it's not important..)_

 _i began to stuff my mouth with cheese pizza. all while watching poor( hahahaa! )Joseph fell harder than he really should..._

 _ ***line brake***_

" I PROMISE I'LL BEAT DOWN THAT DOFLAMINGO FOR YOU,SO STAY CLOSE TO MY CREW-MATES OKAY?!!! I'll FINISH THIS BEFORE YOU KNOW IT SO STAY ALIVE! - GOT THAT?!!" a voice from the other line gave luffy the desired response calming some kind of tension.

before law had the chance i spoke up cutting him off, "so your plans to let him fight thee _kaidou law?_ that's not bad..'cuz if Doflamingo's beaten we'd have an angry yonkou to fight..?" he nodded at that. "we'll be unquestionably forced into a conflict with that man and most likely lose luffy.."

Luffy's face grew with frustration and he voiced his stay.

"STOP THINKING A'BOUT ALL OF THAT! WE'LL DO IT LATER,LAW TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT THIS COUNTRY!! YOU THINK I COULD TRY TO STOP JUST NOW?!!"everyone grew _silent_ , zoro just sighed.

"straight ahead..!!"soon everyone began to hightail after luffy and were grabbed as he blitzed off towards the palace.

"JUST YOU WAAIT DOFLAMINGOO 'CUZ I'M GONNA GO BEAT YOU".

THUD!*

i scuffled to my full height(due to me no longer being eighteen it wasn't much..),my annoyance growing further as voices began to yell out. "HEY THAT'S STRAW-HAT LUFFY!!" ,"YEAH YOU'RE RIGHT! THAT'S TRAFALGAR LAW!! 'pirate hunter'!!"

"HEY I'M HERE TOO!!" i shout out of frustration yet only a handful look at me not impressed with what they see..most completely most completely ignore me.

luffy soon speaks up with some concerns ( is he nervous?) "..guys..guy's we just landed somewhere nasty!-"

Law cuts in rudely.

"once I get out of these constraints I'll murder all of you guys-!"

zoro added in a comment,looking over his brow raised high "uh.. isn't it all nasty? so yeah it wouldn't have mattered..not much anyway".

we kept going on avoiding others as much as possible, all the while Law being carried by Luffy.

when surprisingly Someone caught up to us but before the guy:(Senor Pink) could catch luffyLaw i pushed them away. why wasn't i helping zoro? because the guy was already running off.

gun fire was shot our way but we'd dodged them and kept moving until the marine admiral blocked our paths..zoro began to clash with the admiral when all of a sudden a daunting figure loomed over the area: it was pica. i couldn't take him serious when he started to talk, his high voice reigning over us.

"NOW..ANY FOOLS WHO-" his 'evil' monologuing was cut off by me laughing my guts onto the floor and luffy tearing up "pfft..HAHA HIS VOICE i-IT'S SO HIGH HAHAHAHA!!" his laughs rang out, making bystanders hush him. "B..-BUT HIS VOICE DOESN'T SUIT HIM A-AT ALL!! HAHAHA-

AHA!?!!" . .thats when pica promptly decided to end his laughter..-


End file.
